Archive for the ‘Lists’ Category

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2008’s Most Tearful Videogame Moments

December 28, 2008

I absolutely love videogames that make me cry.  Those will always be the games I remember for years and have the cutscenes I search for on YouTube when I need a good release.

So with all the holiday spirit I can muster, here are 2008’s Most Tearful Videogame Moments.

4. The Ending of Braid

This ending isn’t tearful as much as it is thought-provoking and depressing.  There are a few different interpretations of it as well, but for blog’s sake I’ll say that Tim believed the whole time he was trying to save the Princess when in reality, she was trying to escape him.

3. Dom & Maria’s Reunion in Gears of War 2

Maria is the only reason why I even bothered finishing the GoW2 campaign.  I had to destroy the Locust for her!  Dom’s desperate search for his beautiful wife was so touching.  When he finally found her my controller was dripping wet from the tears falling from my face.

Uploaded by ProjectSAGE

2. The Ending of Metal Gear Solid 4

An extremely epic conclusion for an extremely epic series.  This entire ending had my heart at attention.  My personal favorite is the scene between Raiden, Rosemary and John.  Or is it the scene with Snake in the cemetery alone with a gun in his mouth?  I just can’t decide, they’re all so sad!

Uploaded by Elite3xtreme

1. About 75% of Lost Odyssey

Almost all of the Dreams in Lost Odyssey are tearjerkers, there are about five different sad cutscenes throughout the game and the ending is full of sacrifice, love and departure.  *sniffles*

Uploaded by TheCockCrew

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My Fable II Item Giveaway! – CLOSED

November 20, 2008
Thumbs Up!

Thumbs Up!

Unfortunately, due to my previous Xbox 360 getting the Red Ring display error and my shitty Circuit City warranty, I no longer have my 20GB hard drive with my Fable 2 saved game.  All my items are gone! =(

When (and if) Circuit City sends me a replacement, I seriously doubt it will be with my old hard drive.

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Fable II: You Have to Live With Your Choices – or Not!

October 25, 2008

A Guide to Changing Your Fable II Hero’s Alignment, by Angela Alvarez

Introduction

You toss and turn during your sleep because your body feels restless, and your mind is racing. Your life is burdened with routine and no excitement, nothing new. You’re bombarded with choices everyday, but even though the situation is always different, your decision is always the same. You behave morally, or you act evil. Your choice of lifestyle has even left physical impressions on your body; everyday you wake to that same face, the one with the horns or the one with the big bright eyes and golden flowing hair.

Horns? Yes! Does your Fable II character crave change? Do you want to lose that extra belly fat, those horns, and that disgusting reputation as a whore? Or maybe you’re tired of going home to the same family and tofu dinners every night, getting up at the crack of dawn to slave away over a hot anvil, and avoiding the local pubs. If you’re lost and you feel you need a change in your life, have no fear for there is a guide for you! With this guide* you’ll learn helpful tips to effectively changing your character’s alignment. So wake up, smell the Crunchy Chick. You CAN make a change.

*This guide also applies to those who want bigger horns, bright green eyes with evil, or more heavenly clearer skin with a golden-haired dog.

From a Corrupt Soul to a Model of Purity

The amount of change you need to make in your hero’s life depends on how far along you are on the Purity/Corruption meter. Here are some of life’s pleasures you’ll have to live without if you want to gain Purity points.

How to Lose Weight

1. Stop drinking all wines and beers, and hands off all the pies and meats. None except the very rare are good for you. All they do is put on the pounds* and lead to a gluttonous lifestyle. Instead, drink Well and Spring Water as an alternative, and eat as much celery as you can. Celery is very effective in shedding beer bellies, and Tofu is very helpful at gaining purity points.

*Note: If you eat tons of celery and never touch the harmful foods, and notice you’re still very big, check your physique level. The higher the level, the more naturally muscular and thicker your hero will be become. To lose your physique, simply discard your levels but remember, your hero will become weaker.

How to Gain Respect from Townspeople

2. Eating healthy foods is a great start, but they won’t make much difference unless you make more crucial changes in the way you behave as a businessperson. If you own lots of property and it’s all rented out, adjust the prices of shops and the rent for homes at least -20%. No one has respect for a slumlord. And if you currently have a huge wallet, buy out towns and keep the rent rates low. That way, large groups of people will appreciate you. The best place to start is the Gypsy Camp in Bower Lake.

How to Treat Your Body Like a Temple

3. Have a healthy sexual lifestyle. If you want to marry, marry only once and treat your spouse with love and respect. Move them into a lovely home (my personal favorite is Serenity Farm), decorate it nicely and make sure you shower her with intimate gifts. Give her a hefty daily allowance, and if you have children, make sure they are happy as well.

Or, if you find it entertaining to have multiple spouses, keep them on opposite sides of the map. Bigamy earns you achievement points, not purity points.

On the other hand, if you don’t want to marry and you fancy a quick romp with a prostitute or villager, make sure the relations are protected. Stock up on condoms at almost any General Goods shop and you’ll treat your body like the temple it is!

How to Stop Being Lazy

4. Stop sleeping so much. Sleep is a very easy to way to make time go by faster, but sleeping for days at a time can be harmful. Keep busy, do sidequests (ones that help the good people), or take up a shift or two at the local Blacksmith shop. You’ll earn some extra gold for your pocket while working toward that pure lifestyle!

How to Avoid Five-Finger Discounts

5. Stop stealing! Everything can be bought and only the really interesting items can be found through quests. If you find that you’re always stealing because you have to pinch every penny, wait for sales. You will always be alerted when there’s a new sale because the dollar sign will appear at the lower left corner of your screen on the d-pad.

Two Heroes - Image from GameSpot

Two Heroes - Image from GameSpot

From Pretty and Pure to Unchaste and Unsightly

Really, going from pure to corrupt is much more fun rather than the process vice versa. The Seven Deadly Sins are your new friends!

How to Gain Weight

1. You’re probably used to relying on potions to replenish your health when it’s low, but food is a much cheaper and tastier alternative. If you think your hero could use a few more love handles then keep pies and meats handy. When your health is low, the food will appear on the d-pad so extra weight is just a press away! And after a hard day of slaying balverines, don’t you think you deserve a tall cold one at the local tavern? Stop by the pubs and ask the barman for beer and wine. It’s cool, it’s refreshing, it’ll make you a little sick but it’ll warm your soul.

How to Freak Out

2. You’ve got your adoring little spouse and darling little children, but you’ll need to slip away from them in the middle of the night to get your corruption rate, and your heart rate, up. Travel to Bloodstone as soon as you unlock it and enjoy the company of as many whores as you can. Leave no prostitute unturned, and if you don’t mind, enjoy the company of tarts the same gender as you. Bloodstone is not the only place to find prostitutes, but they run most rampant in that area. If you’re propositioned for sex by random villagers, give them the thumbs up and accept!

And leave the condoms at home. Your wife counts them when you’re not looking.

How to Be a Slumlord and Make Huge Profits

3. Once you have a decent amount of gold, purchase property, rent it out and jack up the adjusted percentage. Don’t think about whether or not your tenants can afford it. Sure, the villagers won’t take a liking to you, but perhaps they’ll change their minds once they see the money they give you for rent goes right back to their tavern.

Unless, you own the tavern. In that case it’s all good for you.

How to Be Rude, Crude and Lewd

4. Forget all the positive social and fun expressions. Any time you’re in a town, use rude and scary expressions on the villagers. If you don’t have that many, you can find books that will teach you some new ones. And your companion canine can get in on the fun – point and laugh at someone, and your dog will urinate on them.

You’ll also earn an achievement, The Menace to Society, for performing a lewd act in public. I got this achievement by stripping naked in the Temple of Light and and vulgar thrusting toward a monk. But be creative and do it your own way!

How to Not Take Shit

5. The more corrupt you become, the more villagers will insult you and your lifestyle. You can simply slap people for opening their mouths, or you can take your longsword to their necks! Beware though, guards will run up to you and order you to either pay up, do community service or fight for your life. Murder charges are worth 500 gold a piece. A small price to pay for keeping your pride.

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Characters That Would Make Badass Kids

August 21, 2008

I believe in soul mates; everyone has someone out there that completes them. And it applies to video game characters as well, that there are two that would make the perfect couple but because of franchises, corporate symbols and console wars, they cannot come together to make babies. Here are the characters I believe would make the most awesome offspring, if they could just get together for some mating!

1. Samus Aran and Master Chief

They’re both space-faring badasses in heavy armor. Their child would be born amongst aliens and live their childhood in a power suit hooked up to an A.I.

2. Cervantes de Leon and Seth Balmore

He’s an undead pirate with a black heart and she’s a feisty immortal pirate. They can live together for an eternity, dominating the seas and creating babies that want nothing but power, souls, and justice.

3. Wolf Link & Midna and Okami Amaterasu & Issun

They would no doubt make the cutest and wittiest wolves ever, born with the ability to attack with art, restore nature and see scents. Their offspring would be creature-friendly, loving horses and feeding animals.

4. Ryu Hayabusa and Shura

Ryu’s a ninja with class and Shura’s a fighter with… hm, well they’d have great looking children with aggressive and agile fighting skills. They would be a little conceited but always there to save the busty blonde babe from danger.

5. Companion Cube and 1up Mushroom

Physically, I don’t know how it’d be possible but think of the outcome – a best friend who gives you an extra chance at life, always being there with you to help you through tough obstacles. What more could you ask for in a companion?

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56 Things I love About MGS4

June 29, 2008
Metal Gear Solid 4 is the best game I have played in a long time. While playing it, I couldn’t help but say things like “I love that” repeatedly. Here are 56 things I love about MGS4.

*CAUTION: CONTAINS SPOILERS*

I love…

0. The little tips during the install screens.
1. How great Snake looks during the install screens.
2. Pressing L1 during cutscenes for a different view.
3. Pressing X for flashbacks.
4. Tiptoeing over corpses.
5. How dirt gets on the screen after rubble falling nearby.
6. When Otacon gives me tips when I’m a little lost.
7. Hearing the “item dropped” sound anytime someone died.
8. How I use an oil drum someone farted in.
9. How Snake rubs the bottom of his back after being crouched too long.
10. How Snake can fall asleep too.
11. Sunny playing the PSP.
12. Never having felt lost in the story, even though I didn’t play the other MGS games.
14. Otacon’s comment on the PS3 and Blu-Ray Disc.
15. Drebin 893’s monkey.
16. The abundance of cutscenes!
17. The posters hidden behind paintings in the South American home
18. How the install screen changes after Snake’s face is severely burned.
19. Raging Raven and the fight against her.
20. Laughing Octopus and the fight against her.
21. Crying Wolf and the fight against her.
22. Screaming Mantis and the fight against her.
23. Being reunited with the cardboard box.
24. Pressing triangle to keep Snake going through the microwave tunnel.
25. Easy access to weapons and ammo through Drebin.
26. How we obtain Face Camo of other characters.
27. Shaking the controller during cutscenes so my Camo returns to normal.
28. Snake’s dream in the helicopter!
29. The Rail Gun.
30. How Snake’s Psyche gauge could deplete during a cutscene.
31. That Snake kicked his smoking habit.
32. The motorcycle chase.
33. Controlling REX.
34. Shooting enemies from Drebin’s tank. Very Resident Evil like.
35. Mk. II & III
36. How Snake tried to look up Naomi’s skirt.
37. How Akiba tried to grab Mei Ling’s butt.
38. How Akiba slapped Meryl’s butt and then held her hand.
39. How Raiden always appeared at the right moments.
40. The soundtrack.
41. Sunny’s eggs.
42. Feeling like I was the main character in an actual action movie.
43. Psycho Mantis’ failure to read my past.
45. Watching TV at the start of the game.
46. How Snake’s iPod worked like a real one.
47. How Otacon had an Apple laptop.
48. How Sunny was so intelligent.
49. Snake’s CQC skills.
50. The final fight against Liquid.
51. How the center of Snake’s bandanna was always scrunched up.
52. Sharing rations with other soldiers.
53. How the Resistance member ran to take a quick leak in the park.
54. Actually fearing the Gekko.
55. Feeling like I did right by starting this list at zero.
56. The ending. It made me cry.

If I had the game right in front of me at the moment I know I could think of 50 more. But this is all I got off the top of my head.

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Slogan Generator + My Favorite Video Games

April 12, 2008

I was browsing the GamerchiX forum and Moose Muffin created a thread with a link to a slogan generator in it. So I had a few chuckles inserting explicit words, and then I decided to put in the titles of some of my favorite video games. Here are some of the slogans that the website generated:

“Just for the taste of Halo.”
“Just One Final Fantasy – Give It To Me!”
“Half-Life Really Satisfies.”
“Little. Yellow. Different. Mass Effect.”
“Leggo My BioShock!”
“God of War – The Freshmaker!”
“Biting the Hand That Feeds Resident Evil.” (I think that one was the best!)

And of course, for the consoles:

“How many licks does it take to get to the center of an Xbox 360?”
“Would You Give Someone Your Last PlayStation 3?”
“Get Wii or Get Out.”